|Ring Announcer Name?|| The Space Man (s1), |
The Amazing Astronaut Alien (s2)
|Billed From?||Out of this World|
|Ring Intro Music|
|From Forum(s)||SA, LPC, LPF|
|Biggest Ally||Cup of water|
| LPFWA Champion
2013-11-30 - 2014-03-01
"Man, I don't know shit about wrestling."
Schir's a member of LPF that primarily does screenshot LPs, and is notable for never having less than two LPs going at any given time. He tends to LP very anime games like Time Hollow, Summon Night, and that one Fire Emblem Romhack. He started making LPs back when he was like 12 and somehow hasn't gotten sick of them yet.
Since Season One, Schir has changed a lot. He's no longer wearing his green bodysuit and helmet, revealing him to be the alien everyone suspected him to be all along. This is all because his helmet and suit are currently at the dry cleaners. Also different from Season One, and by virtue of being the only person around when IGgy asked, Schir's ended up being one of the people who commentates over the matches. He is exceedingly bad at it. Schir showed up in a non-canon match against Frosty after the first show formally ended, as he and Frosty were the only people who didn't show up in the show proper. Schir started bleeding and lost immediately.
Schir made his first canonical appearance in the ring on June 6th, 2023, in the first round of the tournament. His match was against Jobbo Fett and Atsl McFluffybottom, in a first blood match. Schir wasn't the best wrestler in the ring, but he was able to tell when the others were about to bleed, and capitalized on it.
Schir had a very middling LPFWA career. He participated in the first match in the first broadcast of LPFWA, and defeated Sabateini through submission. His second match was against Big Noodle Fucker in an extreme rules match following a polite disagreement with IGgy backstage over whether the creator of a washcloth that dissolves in water was an assdick or a dickhole. IGgy was too drunk to fight, so he sent BNF out for him. Schir lost that match, which led to him challenging IGgy (not BNF) to an "I Quit" match in the Wall of Golden Stuff event. Schir's third match ended in victory once again after his opponent, Frosty The Dragon, went absolutely fucking apeshit and started wrestling the referee.
In Schir's fourth match (the aforementioned 'I Quit' match against IGgy), he started off well, but his good nature turned against him, as he kept helping IGgy back up while IGgy kept putting him down. Eventually, Schir lost, making his record tied up. Where will Schir go from here? Were his two losses against IGgy and BNF merely a case of fighting main-event top-tier wrestlers vastly superior to him, or were they merely the beginning of his descent into jobberdom? Only time will tell.
Schir's intro music in season one was Stairway to Revelation by Flashygoodness
Once a year, every year, Schir and IGgy get into a dumb feud that ends in an I Quit match. Schir is currently zero for nine.
Schir tends to start matches quite poorly, but later make an amazing comeback, as shown in his non-canon match against Cyrekk and Krimsh, where he started bleeding in the first minute of the match. He won that match by pinning Cyrekk while Krimsh was showboating. He also showed this in his match against Frosty the Dragon, where it appeared that he would lose, but won anyway.
Schir does not know how to wrestle, as he demonstrates in the Extreme Rules matches where he grabs not ladders and sledgehammers, but water, which he drinks.
He has a strange tendency to help his opponents, as he helps them get up when they've been knocked down, and he assists them in wrestling him.
Following the Wall of Golden Stuff event on July 27th, Schir had a nightmare about QC being in a Money in the Bank match
Schir's the one who writes up the vast, vast majority of these wiki pages because he has too much free time on his hands. This is also, unsurprisingly, why this is one of the longest pages on the entire wiki.
Non Royal Rumble RecordEdit
|2023-09-19||Jobbo Fett||Extreme Rules||Win||4-2-0||3-1-0 (75%)|
|2023-08-15||Big Scary Owl||Standard||Win||3-2-0||2-1-0 (66%)|
|2023-07-25||Five other people.||Battle Royal||Loss||2-2-0||1-1-0 (50%)||Fifth one out.|
|2023-06-20||IGgy||I Quit||Win||2-1-0||1-1-0 (50%)||Streak broken.|
|2023-06-13||anilEhilated||Flaming Tables||Loss||1-1-0||0-1-0 (0%)|
|2023-06-06||Jobbo & Atsl||First Blood||Win||1-0-0||0-0-0 (0%)||To quarterfinals!|
|2023-05-23||Frosty the Dragon||Non-canon||Loss||0-0-0||0-0-0 (0%)||Not canon.|
|2013-11-30||SoapyNome||Standard||Win||5-8-0||5-5-0 (50%)||Totally became the champ.|
|2013-10-26||nFBC||3v3 Elimination||Loss||4-7-0||4-4-0||Did pretty well.|
|2013-09-21||Der Uber Owner||Extreme Rules||Win||4-6-0||4-4-0 (50%)|
|2013-09-07||QuantumCrayons||Standard||Loss||3-6-0||3-4-0 (42.8%)||Title match|
|2013-08-31||nFBC||3v3||Loss||3-5-0||3-3-0 (50%)||Lost by DQ|
|2013-08-24||Quantum Crayons||No DQ||Win||3-4-0||3-3-0 (50%)||Won by KO.|
|2013-08-17||Punchy||Standard||Loss||2-4-0||2-3-0 (40%)||Lost by countout.|
|2013-08-10||Team Dark Souls||Tag-team||Loss||2-3-0||2-2-0 (50%)|
|2013-07-29||QuantumCrayons(x5)||Money in the Bank||Loss||N-0-T||R-E- A-L||Oh good, it was just a dream.|
|2013-07-27||IGgy IGsen||I Quit match||Loss||2-2-0||2-2-0 (50%)||I quit. Assdicks is a better term.|
|2013-07-20||Frosty the Dragon||Standard||Win||2-1-0||2-1-0 (67%)||What the fuck, Frosty?|
|2013-07-13||Big Noodle Fucker||Extreme Rules||Loss||1-1-0||1-1-0 (50%)|